I've never danced in public before. No high school dance, no proms, and no clubs. Though there are probably worse people than me, I have no problem saying I have no rhythm. Or at least I thought before picking up Elite Beat Agents. Now, I feel I've got the groove, and with a song in my heart and my toes tapping, I'm ready to join the group. Agents…GO!

THE STORY SO FAR
"There are times in life when everything seems to be against you. When the world has gotten you down. Times when you want to give up and go home. Yet, in these desperate moments, you are not alone. From a secret lair, a glorious trio of stylin' sentinels arrives to save the day! They bring power, hope, love, and courage. They are the undisputed titans of funk! They are…the Elite Beat Agents! The Elite Beat Agents are go!!!"

Whoever wrote that in the manual should be commended, because that is exactly how the game feels. With you taking on the role of the Elite Beat Agents, you'll hear distress calls of help all across the world, and though the situations seem bleak for them, by using the power of rhythm and music you'll help them overcome any problem and save the day. Wow, makes you wish there were Elite Beat Agents in real life.

There is an overarching story by the end, making up a total of 19 stages (though some have to be unlocked). You'll help everyone from a girl wanting to tell her boyfriend she wants to go steady (only to have to baby sit and risk losing him), a man trying to make a movie, a broke oil businessman make his lost money back, and helping a dog get back home. Most of the stories are pretty funny and lighthearted bliss, but there was one moment that was so poignant, it is a bit emotional and sad.

Though it is hard to really pay attention to all the action (you'll only get to see the segment endings during your actual run through) you can replay the level so you can sit back and watch all the anime influenced action. The story is nice and fun, but the gameplay and challenge is what will have you playing songs over and over.

SINGLE PLAYER: GAMEPLAY
I generally don't like hard games, though there are some exceptions, life if it feels challenging for a reason and not meant to just extend game length. The greatest game I can think of that falls into that category is Ninja Gaiden for the Xbox (I would get so frustrated with that game and those bosses, but I'll be if I didn't feel compelled to keep playing to beat it). Well, Elite Beat Agents is the exact same, because though I beat the game on normal difficulty spread over across two days, that just isn't good enough for me. I must unlock all the difficulties, all the songs, all the characters, and perfect each one. I must! And if you fall in love with this quirky game, then you'll find yourself in the same trance.

There are only three things you have to worry about with Elite Beat Agents: 1) tap the screen, 2) slide over the screen, and 3) spin the screen. It sounds simple in process, but I'm here to tell you this is unquestionably the hardest Nintendo DS game I've ever played. The way the levels progress is, you'll have a song, and as the song plays, numbered circles will appear with circular lines closing in on them; when the line is right about to hit the marker, you tap it with your stylus (the closer you tap it to when you are supposed to the more points you get). As for the sliders, you'll have to touch the circle then follow the ball on its pre-determined track. And for the spinners, you have to spin them in circles very quickly so the light in the back lights up before the line circle closes in.

You'd think tapping circles and such would be easy, and at first so did I and that is why I didn't want to go out and buy the game. However, don't go thinking you'll breeze through this. For the most part, the circles you tap and drag go along to the beat of the music, so you'll have to pay attention to timing and rhythm, because while some may come slowly, others follow in line in rapid succession. And though the game only contains 19 levels after everything is unlocked, you actually can multiply that number by four since the difficulty levels don't just speed the songs up near the higher levels, but they make you tap more circles and do more slides too, so they aren't the same levels.

The challenge of the game isn't the fact that if you don't hit a circle you know you suck with rhythm, but rather you have what amounts to a health bar that is constantly going down as the music progresses. By performing the best you can and hitting your markers exactly, you'll give yourself health. It is a game over if the meter reaches zero. The other big thing is that you want these people to have happy endings, so before each of the three or four sections come along, you want to make sure it is saying "Yes" up top at the health bar instead of "No" or else you'll get a bad segment.

The thing is that though the levels only take a few minutes (as long as the songs last), you'll rarely beat one on the first try. You won't even beat some on the tenth try. Elite Beat Agents is one of those games where in some cases (the harder difficulties in particular) you must replay levels over and over and over until you learn proper movements, where circles will be, etc. You will hear every song on here multiple times, but you'll still be compelled to beat them. You'll say, "Okay, I'll stop after two more tries," and the next thing you know you are on your thirtieth try.

Is it frustrating? Yes, but it is also so fun, rewarding, and uplifting to sit there and go, "Finally, I beat it."

MULTIPLAYER: GAMEPLAY
Okay, to stress what I just said, I literally just got back from an Elite Beat Agents gaming session where I spent over a half an hour on one level and then beat the next level on my second try. Go figure. Anyways, back to the multiplayer.

Sadly there isn't any multiplayer over an online connection, so to play the game against someone you'll each need a system and a game card. Up to four players can play together, with the main matches being Co-Op play where players will share the responsibility of hitting their markers when the time comes, while in Versus play you'll compete against each other, trying to get the best runs, and if you do well you can actually affect other players such as having the markers get smaller (this will also happen against you as well). If you don't have friends, you can save your replay data, and then have Versus matches against yourself with that ghost data.

GRAPHICS
The graphics aren't advanced, but they get their anime styles across very well, plus the animations of the Elite Beat Agents dancing more than makes up for what it isn't graphically. It should be noted that the graphics don't have to be that amazing, because the game is really the tapping of the screen where everything else is just the extra oomph to the package.

SOUND
In a game where music plays such an important part, the game would fail if the sound work was anything above great. There isn't too much voicework from characters, but the exaggerated cries of "Help" sound nice and the sound of the beats that issue from your DS when you tap the screen certainly gets you going. As for the songs, though they aren't everyone's cup of tea, they are catchy beats, ranging from the Rolling Stones to Journey to Avril Lavigne to the Village People. Though they aren't performed by the same artists, you'll know the songs when you hear them, and they sound so good you won't care one lick the real deal isn't singing along. The other big thing is that they are all catchy (minus one which I won't spoil) and make you want to tap your feet, get in the groove, and are songs you won't mind hearing through your countless tries.

IN CONCLUSION
In a world where videogames have gotten a bad rap and so many are mature rated adventures that focus on adult themes and ideas, Elite Beat Agents is the exact opposite. Elite Beat Agents is pure unadulterated fun and pure bliss. Just writing about it makes me smile and wants me to go straight back to it and start playing again. You can't sit still with this game either, because you'll find your feet tapping, head bobbing, and you'll be humming the words to these songs in your head. Heck, you'll start seeing those circles when you close your eyes it is so good. I laughed at the game when I first saw it because it didn't seem like much, but I was a fool back then. I've seen the light. Go buy Elite Beat Agents right away!

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