It's so easy to use a pun regarding the famous "More Than Meets The Eye" Transformers tagline, that parodying it to reflect how sub-par this game is would be like someone pitching a ball underhand to Barry Bones and the resulting homerun that would be bound to happen (and we aren't talking those underhand speed freak pitchers either, but rather slow, high arching lobs). We also aren't going to joke about how this game needs to "transform" into something better. Oh, shoot, we just did!

THE STORY SO FAR
Seeing as how the Transformers game is based on the summer movie of the same name, it's only fair to assume that it follows the plot of said movie as well. Unlike some movie tie-in games that follow the movie, but yet expands on it with side-story missions or things not seen in the theater, Transformers is pretty much a straight-up telling of the film.

In the game you'll be able to play as both the Autobots and the Decepticons, as you go out and search for the boy Sam Witwicky, who just might have some advanced knowledge in his care that he doesn't yet know about, regarding a device known as the All-Spark, which both factions of the warring tech races are after. You'll roam from desert military bases to suburban neighborhoods to even the Hoover Dam, completing missions to get you ever closer to the All-Spark.

The story of the game unfolds through cinematic cutscenes, usually involving either robot meteorites crashing to earth, robots transforming into vehicles and then driving away, or a few robots fighting each other. In other words, the cutscenes are pretty quick, boring, and fail to capture any of the excitement of the actual film itself. Beyond the cutscenes, a bit of pre-level narrative is the only thing to help fill in the story and tell you what exactly is going on.

GAMEPLAY
Transformers is strictly a single player experience, with you taking on the role of one Autobot or Decepticon as you advance through each stage challenge. The general progression is you are thrown into one hub level, such as the desert where the military base is, or the suburbs where Sam lives. The levels are large enough, but not so large where everything seems fresh and new, since you'll be visiting the same locales often. As you drive (or walk) around these hub levels, you'll find mission objectives, which trigger the actual missions for those levels. Complete that mission, and you'll kick back out to the hub level, where you'll then either pick a new objective from that level, or move to the next hub level and start things over again.

The mission objectives are practically the same no matter who you are playing as or what side of the battle you are on. Most all missions end up with you having to drive to a set location (usually within a specific time frame) and then often having to battle there, all so that you can then drive to another location within the time window and fight again. Are you seeing a pattern here with how things are repeating way too often?

For most of the time you are fighting drones for the other side, which are no-name robots meant for the fodder, and are easily disposed of with some gun blasts or punches. Occasionally you'll get a one-on-one battle with a named player from the opposing side, but these are only slightly more advanced and harder than the regular drone battles. When fighting you notice just how bad the controls are, considering most of the action is confined to the shoulder buttons, besides the melee attacks. Trying to keep your thumbs on the thumbsticks while stretching your pointer and middle finger to handle lock-on, shield, and your two guns isn't an easy feat, and is the reason why you'll probably focus more on melee anyways, and will instead just point your Transformer in the enemy's direction and just wail on the punch button; besides, not much more than that is needed anyways to win a battle.

Another issue with the fighting is that since you are a giant robot, you're more than likely going to cause some structural damage to the levels, leveling buildings and knocking down lamp fixtures. However, Autobots are good people, and care about humans, so for all the damage you do you get penalized. I'm a giant freaking robot madly swinging my fists about – I can't afford to worry about making sure no blow goes through a building! It is here where, surprisingly, the Decepticon missions prove the best of the bunch, since you don't have to worry about playing safe, and can grab and destroy anything you want without consequence, since you are actually rewarded for your destruction.

It's fun to walk around as a giant robot and then transform into a vehicle at the press of a button, but not when the driving is so jerky and frankly comical. The transformation animation is nice the first few times you see it, but then you realize these Transformers only transform one way and one way only from robot to vehicle and then back again. Another problem comes from the quick cuts and turns your vehicle performs, which isn't smooth in the slightest, and will lead to more car crashes than anything else. The driving didn't have to be as smooth as a Gran Turismo or Forza Motorsports, but at least something better than this. Another problem with the driving portions is that if you hit any vehicle, there is no stutter-step as if you had really hit them in real life, because apparently physics don't imply when it comes to giant transforming robots. Imagine in real life if you were to take a nice enough sports car like a Camaro (Bumblebee in the game) and ran it head first at a tank; you're going to either crash your car to pieces or have it flattened in an instance. It's highly doubtful that upon hitting the tank with your car it would simply pop up into the air as if you had hit a basketball while driving, but yet that's what you can expect time and time again with Transformers.

GRAPHICS
Much like the movie itself, the Transformers are very detailed and made up of a bunch of different parts, but sometimes they are so intricate it's hard to see just where things like faces are and where arms begin, so much of the time it feels like watching giant blobs of metal fighting it out. Beyond the Transformers, the levels are flat and boring without any real textures to flesh anything out, the special effects are last gen, and the cutscenes look more like a PS2 game cutscene instead of a next-gen system.

SOUND
The voicework is actually pretty good, with Sam and Optimus Prime being the standout voices of the game. The music is pretty so-and-so with nothing really great, but at least the effects of punching, throwing cars, and metal on metal fighting sounds pretty good. Not the best soundwork we've ever heard in a game, but at least Transformers does something pretty well.

IN CONCLUSION
Having both seen the movie and now played the game, you're much better off going to the theater, getting a slushy, and some chocolate peanuts – you'll have a better time by far. For that matter, if you've already seen the movie, go pickup some Transformers DVDs if they are available, such as the Beast Wars series. As for the Transformers game, don't bother wasting your time or money; only serious die-hard Transformers fans should even consider this game, and even then they should be wary.

Rating:
Our Scoring System